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Being a homosexual male approaching 50, I’ve spent many, mostly pleasurable years pursuing casual sex with other men since the age of 19. In my 30s, I was in a serious relationship which continued for a significant period, but it never fully satisfied me, because I didn't experience love nor sexually nourished. The fact is that I have always craved uncommitted intimacy. Every time I start to date a potential partner, when the initial excitement dwindles, I always get the urge to have sex with new partners once more.

Reflecting on the Feasibility of Exclusive Commitment

Currently, I'm contemplating whether it's possible for me to maintain a monogamous relationship. I understand that numerous homosexual males engage in open relationships, yet when I’ve witnessed them, they appear demanding, often resulting in lots of heartache and envy among all parties. To a large extent, I want another man to love me while allowing me to pursue other intimacies, however I dread to imagine the emotional drain this might create. Is it best to keep having casual sex and accept that a long-term relationship may be unattainable? I feel somewhat confused.

Every person’s sexual journey fluctuates. Try not to think about what you require in partnerships or your capacity to tolerate different types of intimate connections in a finite way. Your needs as you are experiencing them now may well change in the future; at a certain time you might become more decisive and find some clarity and a suitable route … or perhaps not. At some point you might meet a person who provides a life-changing chance to you by reflecting your desires completely … and at another point you may choose that casual connections are best for you. Worrying about what lies ahead and playing endless speculation is merely anxiety-based and squandering of your energy. Try to be present with your partners, and recognize the worth of every individual you connect with intimately a sexual connection. When and if the time is right to deepen true intimacy with a single person, you will know.

• The psychotherapist practices as a American therapy professional who specialises in treating intimacy issues.